Does an upside down longhorn mean anything to a jayhawk?

Seriously.....does it? Cause it sure means something to me. Ass clown. As I'm flipping past the OU-Kansas game, I see a cheesy, obviously set-up shot of 2 groups of fans yelling back and forth in the parking lot. One side is yelling "boomer sooner," the other is screaming something extremely witty and memorable about jayhawks. And they're getting into it.....and this side has grandma in her red and blue muu-muu, yelling her guts out..........and that side has little 6 month old tommy all dressed up in a crimson and cream onesie, with what looks like a little spitup dribbling down his face. The tv producer is wetting himself back in the RV, just thinking about how spontaneous and energy-filled this shot is going to look to the millions of americans at home watching.........the OU-Kansas game........on TBS. Of course, I grab the remote to record what could go down as the best fan-shouting match of all time..........at the 2005 OU-Kansas game..........on TBS.
And, of course......... I see some ass clown sooner shoving his grimy, pasty, toby-keith-lovin, hand towards the other side........in the form of...............wait for it.................an upside down longhorn! WOW!!!!! PURE GENIUS!!! Now, I'm no danged ole sooners expert, but seeing as our hand symbol is the longhorn, and they hate us, I'm thinking that the upside down longhorn symbolizes hatred for The Texas Longhorns. So basically, the non-verbal subtext of an upside down longhorn is "the longhorns fucking suck" or something to that effect........So this jackass sooner might as well have been standing there straight across from this group of jayhawk fans and been screaming "the longhorns fucking suck." (probably was......I had it on mute)..........Interesting way to demoralize your opponent, mr. sooner. Yell epithets concerning another completely different team! They'll never see it coming! Now, we can all learn from this genius sooner psychological mind game. We can all use it in our daily lives. Next time you get cut off on the highway by a member of a different race or gender, don't bother with the usual curses and swear words. Just roll down your window and yell at the top of your lungs "I FUCKING HATE HAMBURGERS WITH NO MUSTARD!!!" That'll show em.

I must stop drinking at 3 P.M.

As many of you noticed, I managed to even misspell the title of my latest alcohol induced blog. You will have to forgive me, but whenever I am struck by the inspiration of sweet potato spirits, I cannot say no to my muse. "The Dude" would be proud of my recent obsession with white Russians, caused in no small part by the realization that I am once again in the mid-semester doldrums that I have made into a ritual. That time of the year when the novelty of "keeping up with reading" wears off and reruns of "Ed" seem like a better alternative to class, this always manages to put me several hundred pages behind in each class. I guess I should get back to work so I can catch up now........as soon as I finish swirling this sweet brown concoction over my palate.

So You're Saying I've Got a Change.....

Perhaps this is the 3 P.M. white Russian talking, but I have a plan that will benefit just about everyone involved, except for the general public that expects competent legal representation. No matter how poor the overall scores are, the top 70% pass the bar exam correct? I don't know if it is a requirement that a candidate graduate from an accredited law school, a law school at all, undergrad, highschool or middle school. But if the answer is no, then Houston, we have lift off. We all pitch in about a hundred dollars, and use the money to register "unlikely candidates" to take the bar exam. I'm mainly looking towards Oklahoma, with a high preference for non-English speakers. Learning disability is a plus, and all applicants must be under the age of 12. I don't know how many of these "creative candidates" it will take to ensure all of us are above the 30% line, but every little bit helps. Of course, this entire plan is predicated upon the notion that I can outscore a blind, Spanish speaking 12 year old Oklahoman......Damn, I need to think of a better plan.

Lets not kid ourselves

I've come to realize how extraordinarily deluded our hypothetical questions are in class. We are asked about what we would do if our multimillion dollar client asked our prestigious lawfirm to certify a fraudulent press release. We are asked further, what would we do if that client's actions would be detrimental to another multimillion dollar client. Lets not kid ourselves, I would kick my own crotch to have that "problem" some day. This is probably more along the lines of what we would have to endure: My court appointed homeless client has urinated himself in the janitor's closet that I call an office, and has stolen a sandwich from my other client. Client #2 is also a court appointed indigent, and he has a hankering for that two day old sandwich he thought he had earlier. How do we handle the theft of said sandwich from one client to the other, and what do we have to disclose to client #2 about client #1's indiscretions.

You Can't Be Hindi, You Ass

My name is indeed Cyrus and I am not hindi, hindu, or wilder valderama. what i am is a zoroastrian. more on that later. more importantly what i also am is sick and tired of harold's ridiculous ims at 2 in the morning while i'm trying to do my "lawschool reading"

SIDEBAR HERE: from reading this blog you will soon see that "doing my lawschool reading" is actually code for something else....what is that something else? it changes day to day, moment to moment........it can be almost anything.....as long as its not really lawschool reading......por ejemplo.........harold ims me (at 2 in the morning) and says "what you doing?"; i respond "oh just reading for class tomorrow. i'm so fucked cause i'm like 300 pages behind in my 'constitutions of the indiginous people of asia' class'" {{SIDEBAR WITHIN A SIDEBAR HERE: anytime we make any kind of racial jokes that are in extremely poor taste (will be often), we will be substituting the word asian/filipino/indian instead of what we really mean. that way we escape pesky things like multimillion dollar defamation claims (at least i think we'll escape liability.......eh....who am i kidding.....i have no clue whether we will or won't......harold you wanna take a stab at this law school question?}} and of course what i'm really doing is sitting on my ass watching infomercials about food dehyrators, butt shrinkers, and of course the ubiquitous ggw
anyway.......so i'm trying to do my "law school reading" and harold ims with some inane hour long story that has nothing to do with anything......kinda like this post.............long story short.....now instead of iming me at 2 in the morning.....he can post it on the internet and spread the love for all our adoring fans

Harold and Kumar Go to Law School

My name is Arfeo, and I'm a foul mouthed foreign kid who can't decide what he regrets more, going to law school or staying in law school. Cyrus is an over-worried hindi gentleman who secretly likes law school although he would have you believe that he doesn't. We are indeed Harold and Kumar at Law School, except the only real punchline will come when we compare our starting salaries to the loan payments we will owe. We will have more than just rantings about law school, so please join us as we take our journey through the mystical magic filled world of mundane reality.