Earth Shattering News, and other news of note

Earth shattering news this weekend in the world of sports, Barry Bonds has been juicing it to beat the record. I didn't realize this before because I am both autistic and blind. I never saw him put on 60 lbs. In three days, and I actually thought it was possible to double your career best batting average.......when you were in your 40's! I hope you sense my sarcasm, because I've known all along. I don't know if it was the first time that he hit a ball and immediately crushed its atoms into a nuclear explosion, or when he replied to an interview question about his newfound power by saying "Hulk Smash", but somewhere along there I figured out something unnatural was happening. Don't make him angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry. I hate that everyone is making it out to be a racial thing, just because McGwire didn't catch as much flak for juicing. I have three answers to that. A) McGwire broke a lesser record than the one Dr. Bruce Banner is about to "Smash" B) McGwire's steroid use, albeit obvious, is not as well documented with substantiated proof C) Barry is an asshol. Pure and simple, Terrell Owens and Barry Bonds has given me hope in the mindless masses of America. Apparently we DO care if someone is an assole, no matter how good they are at something. You see Barry, you can still be a success while being an asshole, but much like a pitcher with an 85 mile per hour fastball, you HAD BETTER be perfect. Because if you are off just one bit, you will get your head caved in like....well......a baseball hit by the incredible Hulk. Except I mean that metaphorically, and only in the eyes of the media.

In other news of note, I am getting married this Saturday.