Kwai Gonn Jinn needs toilet paper

Curious observations about women:

1. Women are so in to arts and crafts, they even feel the creative compulsion in the restroom. Notice how they make oven mits out of toilet paper by circling their hands with the material several hundred times. If you don't believe me, make note of how much TP is in your roll before the next time a girl uses your bathroom, and see how much is left afterwards. Men can generally make due with 4-8 sheets, women's usage has to be measured in inches of circumference taken off of the roll.

2. Some, not all women, but some are consumed with perceptions of cleanliness. Not actual cleanliness I must add, just the perception of it. If you've ever witnessed the following phenomenon, you will know what I mean: When women move out of their apartments, some will actually clean before the cleaning crew gets there, so that the cleaning crew doesn't perceive them to be messy. Strangely, if you actually saw what that person's apartment looked like before the obligatory final cleaning, it would look similar to your own, messy, man-room.

3. Single women, under the age of 23, are incapable of being happy for other women. When one actually achieves a working, functional relationship, her friends will stare at her from afar at social settings the way men stare at their friend who skipped out on the bachelor party to go to the ballet with their girlfriend. The conversation will go something like this....
Girl 1: "Wow, he's really sticking with her.....even though her face is a little...unfortunate"
Girl 2: "Yeah but good for her though, did you hear he bought her a necklace for valentines day?"
Girl 3: "My ex did that, I found out later it was so he didn't feel as bad for cheating on me"
Girl 2: "Wow, you don't think he's cheating on her do you"
All Collectively: (Internalized thought) "God I hope so"

4. Women are aggregately better at school than we are. This is no joke, they really are. Imagine how much concentration you had when you were 14, you were home alone, and you were trying to crank one out before anyone got home. Multiply that intense concentration level by 5, and you have some idea of how focused they can be at school. While you and I are dreaming of guitar lines, who the cowboys will draft next or what we just saw on the history channel, they are whipping our asses at the books. Why? Because there are only a finite number of purses in the world to purchase, so attention inevitably falls to something else. The danger here is that our society has evolved such that academic pursuits are the main source for eventual success in the world. This is why I support a nuclear winter. We need to take things back to ground zero, so that he who throws the rock the hardest eats the eight legged dog. Otherwise, we are all doomed to be oblitherated as the species' dominant gender.